"Why did our paths cross if we will be separated?" ~From the Filipino song "Maghihintay (Will Wait)" by Gabbi Garcia and Christian Bautista
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I was never given a chance to prove it to her. I never got the chance to tell her the truth. To be honest, it was downright frustrating that I want to pull my hair out because of it. But doing so wouldn't change anything...
Doing so would only make me feel worse...
Doing so won't bring her back to me...
Two nights ago, the girl I loved so much said goodbye. I wanted to stop her from leaving me alone but I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything to her.
No words came out of my mouth.
And worse, I didn't have the power to stop her from leaving me... from leaving this world...
If I told her the truth, even just before she left me... then would it change anything? I thought so. It would definitely change me in so many ways. I couldn't figure out how... I couldn't figure out why...
All I knew, she was gone. She left... and now here I was, alone and heartbroken... with a heart full of regrets. My mind replayed so many "what if" and "if only" scenarios that all of it just continued to crush my heart further to pieces.
I found a letter on one of her gifts to me that same night that I lost her. It was named to me and made me all curious. How come I didn't see this before?
Opening it caused my heart to beat faster. I knew I was nervous as to what could that letter possibly held. I was curious and at the same time, afraid to know what could she possibly wanted to say to me. But I chose to ignore it. I had to...
...or else I would never get to know what Hammie wanted to say to me all this time.
It was a letter written in her dainty handwriting. It belonged to her and it was given to me.
That was all that mattered...
...at least to me...
It was short, but I could feel the message that she really wanted to say to me.
But then I couldn't move after reading that. Just what in the world could this mean?
Was she talking about her love for me in this short letter? I couldn't tell at all. She was confusing me with this. Just what in the world does she want to say to me with this? She did say she loved me. Was it true?
Without me knowing it, my tears fell as my hold on the paper where it was written started to tighten. I couldn't hold it in much longer now that I knew all this.
I couldn't believe this at all...
How come I didn't know this at all? How could I have just known this now? How could I not have told her what I feel? Would I be able to hear all of this from her?
I should've told her the truth... I should've taken the risk...
But it was useless now... No way would she be able to know this. It was already too late, anyway.
"I'm really sorry... for not telling you the truth... I'm sorry for feeling something like this towards you..."
Did that mean you were saying sorry for loving me, Hammie? Or you wanted to say sorry for keeping your feelings for me all this time?
"It's better that you don't know how much that someone had suffered. That way, you won't be able to feel the pain that the person had suffered because of it. You won't feel pity because of how that person suffered from it..."
So you were saying that because of loving me, you suffered? And now you didn't want me to know that at all? I couldn't believe you, Hammie. How could you not tell me all this?
I love you, Lucky. But I guess you will never be able to know this while I'm still alive. Despite what will possibly happen in the future, please be strong. And please don't let this burden you.
Please forget me. Forget me from your heart.
That way, you'll be able to move on for good.
Silly girl... How would I be able to do that now?
Now that I know you love me... as much as I love you...
Tell me, Hammie...
How would I do that?
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Okay. Since I created a sad fic for Stinger/Hammie, I was thinking of writing the same type of fic for Naga/Hammie and even Lucky/Hammie. Man, what's with me and sad fics these days? I wasn't able to post anything yesterday since I was tired and couldn't concentrate my mind in writing so I needed to pass that for a bit. I know that this is a short fanfic but I still hope you'll enjoy reading this.
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