"Everything is already good, only destiny remains to obstruct us for you and me to love each other..." ~From the Thai song "Love That Can Never Become True" by Bird Thongchai and Araya Hargate
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The solitary atmosphere of the park where Hammie was currently at should be helping her calm down and think properly. But that wasn't the case here. She was underneath a big tree where she decided to stay after that argument she had with Lucky a while back.
She sighed upon remembering that. But soon after, sighing didn't help her anymore. She cried hard before she knew it. That argument wasn't supposed to happen right after their battle with a Daikan of that area. But one discussion led to another and all of a sudden, she found herself already in a heated argument with Lucky that made her said something quite shocking to everyone who heard it.
"I don't think this is going anywhere," Hammie said with a defeated sigh and started walking away.
Lucky frowned upon noticing that what she said had made everyone quiet. Hammie just kept walking away and was about to summon her Voyager when she felt someone grabbed her arm and turned her around. She was surprised to see Lucky sporting that serious expression on his face.
"What do you want?" she asked in an irritated tone.
"Is this how you're suppose to end it? You just walk away?"
"What do you want me to do?"
"Just say what you want to say, okay? We were okay a while back. And then all of a sudden, we were arguing. What's going on with you?"
"Nothing." Hammie tried to release her arm from Lucky's grip but it wouldn't budge. "Just let me go, okay? I'm not going to say anything anymore."
"What's going on with you, Hammie?" This time, Lucky couldn't hide the worry in his tone.
But she chose to look away instead of answering. It went on like that for a few moments before Lucky finally let her go.
"I thought everything's okay between us," he said sadly.
"I would really like it if there's been an 'us', Lucky," she uttered that widened her eyes when she realized what she said.
When Hammie looked at Lucky, he was looking at her the same way along with confusion and anticipation. Wait, did she really see that?
Before the others could say anything who were just as shocked as she and Lucky were, she started sprinting away from that place with no certain destination in mind...
Did Hammie really end up saying that?
It wasn't supposed to be the way she hoped the argument would end. Her initial plan was just to walk away in order to calm herself and return the focus she lost in her mind. But what made her say those words to Lucky? And to think that everyone heard it, as well.
How was she supposed to face Lucky now?
"Hammie..."
She stiffened upon hearing that familiar voice which also increased the rate of her heartbeat. Only that person had the ability to make her feel like that.
She remained looking down with both her hands covering her face. She didn't want Lucky of all people to see her like that.
"Hey, are you okay?" Lucky asked in a worried tone.
If Hammie would base it from the movements of his shadow that she was seeing since her fingers were slightly parted from each other, she knew that Lucky crouched down in front of her. Even if he face was covered, she still closed her eyes and looked down even further.
She remained silent, as well.
"You shouldn't have walked away like that. You haven't even heard what I was suppose to say after that," he said.
Without a doubt, it surprised her. But she remained in her position.
"What you said back there," he continued. "Was it the truth? Was the meaning that I've been thinking... really what it means?"
Hammie sniffled and slowly moved her hands from her face. Warily, she raised her head and there, she saw Lucky looking intently at her, further increasing the rate of her heartbeat. Why was he looking at her like this?
"Hammie, please... Tell me the truth about it. Tell me everything so that I'll know what to do," Lucky pleaded, which surprised her inwardly.
Why was he acting like this?
She shook her head as she stood up, looking away from Lucky once more before speaking. "I don't think that this is going to work at all even if I told you everything, Lucky."
"Then we'll make it work, Hammie. We can do that. And we'll do it together, okay?" he insisted.
"How?" she asked the moment she looked up and faced him.
Lucky frowned due to confusion. "What do you mean?"
Hammie sighed before continuing. "How are we going to work it out when I can't even guarantee that... I'll survive the next coming battle that we're going to face against the Jark Matter?"
"This isn't like you, Hammie," Lucky said instead which surprised and confused her at the same time.
She looked at Lucky with a frown. But Lucky was wearing that unusually serious face again, the one she noticed before their discussion earlier escalated to a heated argument. "Why are you looking at me like that again?"
"You know what I think, Hammie? You're avoiding it. You're avoiding the possibilities that we can created together if you did tell me the truth earlier."
"Because I know... that even though I have the courage to fight heads on in a battlefield, I'm not that courageous to fight what I'm feeling here inside me. Everything is confusing for me since this is the first time I've encountered something like this in my life." She couldn't hide the frustration in her tone as she spoke those words in front of Lucky. "I just wanted to clear my mind... away from you and the others so that... I could face you properly the next time I decide to talk to you."
No words followed after that. Hammie could only look down once again.
But much to her surprise, Lucky approached her and embraced her from behind. Her eyes widened and was about to turn around to face him but his embrace tightened along with the words he whispered which she still managed to hear.
"It's okay. Don't force yourself to think too much. It's not a race, okay?" he whispered in a gentle tone that softened Hammie's expression.
"Lucky..." she could only utter. Hesitatingly, she lifted her hand and held the ones embracing her tight at the moment.
That was the only thing she could do for now to let him know what she was afraid of.
"We'll stay like this for now. Okay?"
With a relieved smile on her face, Hammie nodded.
For now, she won't think of more than enough "what if's" that bothered her ever since she came in terms with her feelings for Lucky. Maybe this wasn't the time yet to tell him everything.
But at the very least, he would still stay for her.
Right now, that was more than enough.
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Yup, I know that this is a delayed post. I'm not sure if I managed to convey the title itself to the story. Perhaps I should think of another title for this one, huh?
Anyway, enjoy reading! I'll still think of what pair should I feature on the next one-shot.
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