Don't lose that smile. Don't lose the light that I can use to reach your heart… — Florence Joyce
xxxxxx
This time, Hammie knew she had to choose to be happy, as hard as it sounded. Why hard, you say? That choice would actually mean she had to leave everyone. Every person that had changed her life. Each and every one she cared about.
Yes, the crisis was over. Her teacher was saved and the enemies were defeated. But it doesn’t erase the fact that she fought her friends to achieve that one crucial goal. It doesn’t diminish the truth that she ended up hurting them for it.
And at the moment, the only choice left for her to do was to leave and go away from them.
Go away from “him”…
But even as she was outside the lodge where Hammie and the others were staying at in the meantime, her mind was in disarray. As much as she hated to admit it, she was conflicted.
There were some questions that remained in her head even after she made that choice, though. Does she really want to do this? Would leaving them truly make me happy? Make her feel happy?
Before she knew it, tears from her eyes once again. She’d been crying for who knows how many times already for that day. And yet, it seemed that her body still had a lot more tears left than she thought.
Or maybe… as long as it would hurt her, as long as her decision would continue to inflict pain to her heart, then her tears would never run out. As crazy as it sounded, but that appeared to be the case.
“Why are you out here? You should be inside resting, right? You need that.”
Hammie didn’t have to turn around to see who said that, which snapped her out of her reverie. And it was precisely for that reason why she chose not to face him.
“Are you crying?” he asked.
But she chose not to answer. She couldn’t.
“Look at me, Hammie.”
As gentle as the voice where that gentle command came from, she couldn't do it. She didn't know why.
Or maybe she knew. She just couldn't face the truth that lies behind her. But she was aware that avoiding it or hiding from it won't do her any good.
"No…" she responded, even in her cracked voice.
She knew it would give away the truth, what she was really going through. But she didn't want to face the very person who was the reason why she had conflicted feelings about her leaving. She didn't want to fully give in to that dominant feeling inside her.
She was scared. She had no idea how that dominant feeling would truly affect her from here on out if she did choose to give in to it.
But it didn't look like she would be given a choice, anyway. Especially when Naga eventually closed the distance between them and turned her around — to face him. Tears started welling up on the brim of her eyes once more, blurring her vision of the man in front of her.
"Look at me," Naga said once again, gentler this time.
And look at him, she did. Even when she knew that it would only make her cry more. He wanted her to do so, even when she had no idea why.
"You can't possibly be thinking of discarding us again and forgetting us, right?"
Hammie's eyes widened as she continued looking at Naga. As usual, his expression was stoic. But his eyes held something extremely different. She didn't know if she should be surprised with that or not.
"I'm sorry…" was all she could say as tears fell once more, followed by a strangled sob.
Nothing else was said after that. Instead, Naga did another surprising thing to her. He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her.
There was a hint of awkwardness, sure. But the gesture was also laced with gentleness and assurance that Hammie didn't think she'd feel in her situation at the moment.
Then she thought… Perhaps this was what she truly needed after all that had happened. There was no need for her to make drastic decisions such as leaving and forgetting people. She didn't have to do that at all.
At least, not at the moment.
"We're not abandoning you. Remembering that," Naga said after that long silence that hovered between them.
No words came out once again. But she knew what he meant and she knew it was the truth.
xxxxxx
New one-shot for y'all! It took me like three days to finally type this up since I finished writing this about 5 days ago. I kept going out to head to town these days accompanying my mom in various errands and also the out-of-town trip yesterday. So yes, it took me a while to actually post this new one-shot. But here I am now, and about to think of a pair to write about for the next one-shot. See you on the next one! Thanks for reading! :) <3
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