The fireworks display was supposed to happen on that day. Asuna had been waiting for it for days. Well, she had reasons. Unfortunately, those reasons remained unsaid even as her friends kept pressuring her to blurt it out.
She sighed and looked at the sky. The colors were vibrant and the air smelled sweet with a few hints of burning wood and oil. As always, the atmosphere was filled with an excitement. There seemed to be no end to it -- nothing that couldn't be achieved through fire.
But the sigh she released actually meant something different. One that concealed the longing she felt ever since leaving the place that changed her life before. It was a secret that she never ever mentioned to her friends, and it was something she could never tell.
She fell in love, and 'he' never knew about it at all. That fact hurt just as much as everything else. Not just because she was still in love with him, but also because she knew that if she told anyone, she would probably lose them too. They would think she was weird or crazy for loving someone who didn't know or care about her. And neither of those options sounded very appealing at the moment.
"At least I got a reminder of you..." Asuna whispered as she looked up to the sky then to her wristwatch.
7:26 PM. The fireworks display would start at 8:30 PM. That means, she still had more than an hour left to contemplate whether or not she would watch the display again this year. Or... perhaps it was about time she finally gave up on expecting for a miracle to happen through those fireworks.
Maybe it was better to face reality. At least she hoped so.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out. A message from Koh.
It read: 'Are you going? We're waiting in line. You can join us if you want.' She hesitated. These guys were really persistent when they decided to be. But she'd rather not give them any ideas at the moment.
She wanted to think. At least, she knew she had to before those thoughts that lingered in her mind all this time could take over. It wouldn't help her figure it out. She needed to have that clarity before she started worrying about things that could never be solved.
After a few moments of thought, Asuna replied: 'No thanks. I'll meet you there.' Then she tucked her phone away in her pocket. Yes, she had to think things over by herself. She didn't want to lose anymore of the sanity she had left in her mind if somebody else would start to influence her decision.
"No one has to know," she whispered as she took a deep breath.
Soon after, she took out her wallet and opened it to where a lone photo of a young man proudly standing on the stage with a big smile on his face was placed. It was the first photo she took using the polaroid camera that Ui had given her from one of her friend's travels abroad as a vlogger.
It showed him smiling brightly with one arm around the shoulders of a slightly shorter boy who participated with him on that stage. She couldn't help noticing that his smile matched hers perfectly.
She hadn't shown it to anyone yet. She liked looking at that picture every time she remembered the good times or when she just missed him so. That photo was the reason why she became friends with 'him'. And so she treasured that photo so much to the point that she hadn't shown it to any of her friends at all.
She did that even though she knew they would understand how she felt. They would accept her and support her. But she wasn't sure if she could do it herself right now. So maybe she should finally talk to Ui about it later. Maybe she should go to the fireworks festival with Koh and Melto and actually enjoy it without remembering something so sad.
Asuna smiled softly as she put the photo away. She would try to enjoy it while she still could. For now, she would enjoy the present... without thinking of 'him'.
***
Asuna sat down on a wooden bench near the center of town, watching the crowd gather together excitedly. It would be another thirty-five minutes before the fireworks show began, and she had already lost track of time. Then again, she was enjoying a bunch of delicacies she bought while touring the plaza that turned into a festive marketplace.
She needed to do something to kill time and to distract herself from further thinking. She needed to do something that would make her forget everything that plagued her during the past year. Even though she would remember it once again as soon as the fireworks display ended, she had to try.
And that was exactly what happened. Her attention was drawn back to the crowd when she saw something familiar among the throng.
"Asuna!"
At first, she frowned upon hearing someone call her name that doesn't belong to any of her friends. Maybe she was just hearing things? At least, she'd like to think of it that way.
Until it turned out that it wasn't like that at all. She heard her name being called once again and her heartbeat accelerated.
'Could it be...?'
Asuna stood up from her seat and made her way towards the voice. When she stepped closer, she gasped. She stared at him, unable to move or speak for several seconds.
It was 'him', that same young man whom she had loved and loved and loved and loved some more, despite everything she did to stop herself from falling for him, against all logic and common sense.
It was the same person whose presence alone calmed her. Who made her feel alive and whole and loved and free and... happy. A happiness she concealed all this time.
His eyes twinkled in the light of the lanterns around them, and he wore a wide grin on his face that seemed genuine enough.
She stared at him for a couple of seconds longer, unable to fully comprehend what was going on. Could this be a dream? Had her imagination played tricks on her?
Before she had a chance to respond, he suddenly took a few steps towards her and enveloped her in a hug that lasted so long, she forgot to breathe at first. He held her close. His hand gently brushed against her hair, as if trying to calm her.
Or was it really like that?
"A... Aruto?" she ventured, unsure on what to say as this was happening. "Is it really you?"
He chuckled lightly in her ear and nodded, releasing her as he took a step back from the embrace. "Yeah, it's me."
She blinked, not understanding. This didn't look like a dream. "Then... what are you doing here?"
"I came to watch the fireworks. That's today, right?"
"Yes, it is. But... you know that's not what I meant."
His face softened and the corners of his mouth curved upwards. He shrugged as if it weren't a big deal. "Well, I thought I would come see you."
She swallowed nervously, her heart beating faster than it ever had before. If that was indeed the case, then she would have to admit that she still had her doubts. How was he able to come? To see her? Just a glance was supposed to mean nothing to him. Nothing at all. It was simply an act of kindness.
"But why now? Why... here?"
He raised an eyebrow, surprised by her sudden question. "What do you mean? Isn't it obvious?" He then pointed at her as if she were the most obvious thing in the world. "Of course it's you! What other reason would there be for me to come here?"
She smiled awkwardly, trying hard not to look nervous. "You don't have to lie to me."
"Why should I?" he said, confused. "If you don't believe me, then just ask the others. They will tell you the same thing, and that's why I asked you first."
Asuna frowned. "Wait... What are you talking about? The others? Are you talking about my friends?"
He laughed, shaking his head. "Who else? I mean, come on. I know it's been almost a year since we last saw each other, and it seems you have forgotten about me already. How could you ever do that?"
She bit her lower lip nervously as she tried to avoid his gaze. He wasn't right about one thing, though. She had never forgotten him, all because her hidden feelings for him never disappeared all this time.
They remained strong until that fateful day when they parted. She didn't think of him as anything special. He wasn't a person she would've chosen to fall in love with. But she didn't think she had a choice, either. Because he changed everything.
But she also realized it too late and she couldn't change things now. Not completely. She just hid it from everyone.
Even herself.
It was her own fault if anything.
So... Was it possible that... she had fallen deeper in love with him in the past year?
"Don't think I've remained oblivious about what I see in your eyes each time we're together back then. But it's my fault that I never fully acknowledged it to myself until a few months ago... when I started missing you badly," Aruto said, breaking the silence between them.
Asuna looked into his deep blue eyes and was momentarily stunned. She hadn't seen him for such a very long time and yet she hadn't expected to hear those words from him.
It was true. It was her own fault.
She sighed softly as she closed her eyes while taking a deep breath before meeting his gaze again.
"Oh, you... you mean...? You really did miss me, huh..." Asuna mumbled quietly.
"Yes, I guess so," he replied with a smile. "It's kind of difficult to hide such a strong feeling, no matter how hard I try. I hope you understand that."
"I do." It was because she knew that very well. And at that moment, she smiled -- the kind that she hadn't shown since she left the place where she met Aruto. "And thank you for coming here to visit me. I... really appreciate that..."
Aruto gave her another soft smile. "No need to thank me. I'm sorry if I kept you waiting a little while. I just got to get some food before the fireworks start."
She shook her head. "You don't have to. Unless, of course, you're hungry. Then you better get something for yourself."
"Don't you want some?" Aruto asked with a frown.
A small and shy smile carved her face with fondness and joy before shaking her head again. "I already have what I need right here."
This time she had finally accepted how much she missed him and she was willing to let her inner thoughts and emotions come out. That was why she said that.
Aruto grinned widely at her words and reaction. He had always wondered what kind of expressions she might get whenever she would meet him again. However, he was glad it wasn't a surprise.
Asuna's smiles and blushes were the perfect way to bring warmth to his frozen heart after a long time of yearning for her.
"Alright. You sure? Do you want to come with me to the stall where I buy stuff for myself?" He extended his arm in front of her. "It'd be boring if I do it by myself this time."
She glanced at his hand and smiled warmly. "Of course I'll go with you. I wouldn't miss it for the world." She placed her hand onto his arm and allowed him to lead the way as he walked towards their destination.
No comments:
Post a Comment