Asking You To Stay (A Sato Takeru Fanfiction)

An old story dedicated to my online friend LittleRedYasha.

Would it be selfish of me if I ask you to stay, especially when it comes to a point that everything else doesn't work the way I want to anymore?

xxxxxx

Takeru could only heave a heavy sigh for the umpteenth time that day. Or should he say, that week. It had been a pretty depressing week for him. But there was nothing he could do to dissipate it.

Not until he was able to make sure that she would finally awaken.

Once again, Takeru could do nothing but to succumb to the helplessness he was feeling. Along with that, he turned to look at the door when the reason why he was feeling that way at the moment was confined.

Unconscious.

Barely responding to medical technology.

How did it turn out that way?

He was the one at fault. He was supposed to be the one in there. Not her. And yet...

"Takeru..."

He just lifelessly raised his head and faced the person who called him. But it was all the more reason why his eyes blurred because of another batch of tears threatening to fall. Would he ever stop crying at all?

"Lei... I'm sorry..." were all the words Takeru could utter in front of his lover's cousin.

"She still wasn't responding to all the tests done to her. I don't want to lose hope at all that Sharmyn will wake up after all this. But the doctors said that... it seems she... was slowly losing her will to live."

At that point, he rashly raised his head and faced Lei. "But... why would she? Was it because of me? Of what we argued about during that last time? But I didn't mean those words I said to her that night, Lei. Believe me!"

"And yet, she decided to walk away from you. Even if you didn't mean it, you still hurt her. And now, look what that pain had done not just to her, but to you, as well."

Takeru was speechless and became dejected. Lei was right. There was no such thing as words that didn't mean to be said. Even if it was a spur of the moment, what he said to Sharmyn was more than enough to wound her heart.

He said he loved her, but what did he do to her?

"Anyway, I know you won't allow her to just let go. So if it's okay with you, can you please stay with her? Tell her that... she still have you as her reason to live." But then, Lei was asking him that favor with tears in her eyes.

For the last time, he sighed. But this time, for the reason that... he had to gather what left of his strength to hold on. He musn't give up now. He musn't collapse now just because of what he heard about Sharmyn.

With conviction and determination, Takeru agreed to Lei's favor. And so he entered the room where the woman he loved was sleeping. Or at least, his wanted to believe it that way.

That she was just sleeping.

That she would be fine after all this.

He won't be able to turn back time anymore. Even if he continuously blame himself, none of it would help her now.

Takeru entered the room as careful as he could. It didn't take him long to see Sharmyn lying unconscious on the only hospital bed there. The beepings coming from several machines surrounding the said woman was only draining what little strength he gathered. And yet, he still proceeded to approach her.

Though before he could beside her, Takeru soon noticed a brown envelope placed on the bedside table. Who would put an envelope there in the first place?

Then Lei came to his mind.

Could it be her?

He took the item on the table and inspected it, hoping to find some writing that would help him determine the owner of that envelope. To Takeru's surprise, though, his name was written on it--in Sharmyn's handwriting!

He turned to the unconscious woman on the bed. She still managed to write this for him? But if this was here...

'Is it possible... that it's not yet over?'

But why would he wish for something like that? It would be her decision whether or not everything about them would be over. The letter wasn't the deciding factor for that.

After sighing once again, Takeru finally opened the letter. It was indeed adressed to him. But for some reason, he noticed that there was something wrong with Sharmyn's handwriting.

They looked... loose. Not the ones written in a hurry, but the writer seemed to be... struggling. What made her write something this way?

'Takeru,

'This isn't something I'd usually do to you and I know you're aware of that. But let's say I decided to make an exception for this one. This is something I decided to write for you, after all.

'But first, am I entitled to even apologize to you for lying? I don't know why I decided to tell you the truth now, of all times. But I've seen how much you loved me. How much you truly loved someone ordinary such as me. You have a great life ahead of you in that industry. And when I suddenly barged into your life, you turned your back away from it with no hesitation. Honestly, I felt guilty about it more often than not. Despite you saying that it was your choice, that guilt never disappeared--not even a bit. So I'm sorry if there were times that I might have made you think otherwise.

'Things had been a little hard for me lately. So I'm sorry if I wasn't saying anything. I thought that I could still bear it alone. It turned out, there was no way I could. Ever. But even so, I never said anything to you because I don't want to bother you. It must have hurt now that you know this, that I couldn't trust you with any of my problems.

'Even so, will I become a selfish person who would ask you something despite this? I'm scared. I've always been ever since you chose to stay with me. I'm scared of the time that will possibly come in which you'll leave me all of a sudden. I don't know if I could even bear that.

'I want you to stay with me, always. But I want you to do it on your own volition. Not because I asked for it. If we ever come to a time that things will start getting rough for the two of us, I want you to remain by my side only if you want to. If it's unbearable to you, even if it will hurt me for sure, you're free to leave me.

'I'm sorry for lying that I'm strong. For lying that I was still the energetic girl you once knew. My mind isn't that strong anymore, and so is my body. I want to stay here with you for much longer. I don't want to die alone!

'But I think only a miracle can grant my simple wish. Even still, I'll keep wishing for something like that to come. At least for you, Takeru, I still want to stay.

'I'm really sorry... for keeping this from you.

'Sharmyn.

'P.S.: If you still want to stay after all that I've mentioned here, then can you burn this letter? Thank you.'

Feeling weak and still unable to comprehend the things that he just read, Takeru remained staring blankly at one part of the floor. A few moments later, he faced Sharmyn who was still unconscious and appeared to have been trying to bear the pain from the wounds she sustained from the accident even when she was asleep. Because of that thought, he carressed her cold, sleeping face.

And that did it.

The tears that he never thought he was trying to hold started to fall simultaneously. Honestly speaking, he never cried hard like this in his life--only at that moment and it was because of this woman whom he never realized was suffering all this time.

How could he had been so blind not to notice that?

With one thought lingering in his mind, Takeru went out of the room and headed to the hospital's parking lot where he parked his car.

'So this letter was the deciding factor, after all...' Takeru thought as he took something from his car's compartment. After getting that and making sure that his car was locked, he left the place.

On one part of that space, Lei was only looking at Takeru's actions ever since he came out of the hospital building. She could only smile sadly at that.

"You said that he should be the one to decide. I guess this only means he already made his own decision," she uttered to herself as she sighed.

Now that it came to this, then it must mean that the fight was concluded. It was up to those two whether or not they should remain holding on despite the thread connecting them starting to weaken because of all that tested them.