I still want to hold on, because I don’t want to forget it all. I never want everything about you to remain as something that only exists far beyond my reach… — Florence Joyce
xxxxxx
The sun was up already by the time Amy woke up from a night’s sleep. It was strange, but she was able to get some sleep even with her emotions in chaos just the other night.
Or should she thank Edmund for that?
Amy couldn't help smiling at the thought of what happened last night. Yes, it was emotional. That was a given. But she also felt… relieved, for some reason.
Could it be that… because she knew that it doesn't really end here in Narnia? It was a weird thought, but she chose not to pay attention to it.
With a sigh, Amy entered the guest room she had used. Only to be surprised to see Edmund by the study table.
Wait… why was he looking at her adventure journal?
Soon after, she frowned at the sight of his serious expression as he continued flipping through her notebook. Why would he have that expression on his face, though?
But as much as she felt bad for having the urge to disturb Edmund, she knew she had to.
"You look so serious reading that, Edmund," Amy said as she finally decided to enter the room.
Of course, her action had startled the young king. She had the urge to laugh at the sight, to be honest. But she chose not to do so. She didn't want to embarrass him any further.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to read through your journal again. But… I just couldn't help it."
Amy smiled once again and shook her head. "Don't apologize. I think I had an idea about your reason for looking in that journal."
Of course, her statement had made him frown. But she chose not to explain anymore as she continued approaching him. "Are you alright?"
Edmund looked at her for a short while before he answered with a nod. "I did get to sleep well, even with our discussion last night."
"I'm sure you know that's not what I meant to ask."
He didn't say anything after that, however. And she understood. So she chose not to probe into it further. Instead, she took the journal that was on the table before facing Edmund.
"So what did you think of the new adventures written here? But you have to know that I still haven't finished writing all of them there. I'm sure you're aware that there's still a lot that needs to be written."
"I wish I could read them once they're done. But… I don't think that's going to happen anymore." After that, she saw Edmund sigh before smiling as he faced her. "By the way, can I ask you something?"
Though confused, Amy nodded. "Sure. About what?"
"Who's Herbert Carson?"
"Huh?" Why would he mention and ask about that name?
"I saw that name on the leather cover of your journal," he answered and then pointed at the journal she was holding.
When Amy looked at the part of the journal that he was talking about, it was when it hit her. "Ah, you mean my grandfather? This leather cover was something he gave to me while I was younger along with several sets of notebooks that he made himself."
"It seems to me that he's the one who encouraged you to write this much, huh?"
"Well, he did his best to keep his memories alive in all of the journals that he had written since he was a child. He only said that I do my best to document my life in any way I can. Writing them down is one of the ways I did that. Even when some of them could be called 'absurd' since I truly detailed my adventures here in Narnia before."
Upon looking up, she frowned at the sight of the smile on Edmund's face. Wait… Was there a reason for him to smile at her like that?
"Why are you smiling like that?" she couldn't help asking.
But Edmund shook his head, his smile remained. Even at the sight of that, Amy knew one thing. She was sure that she would engrave that smile in her heart for a long time. Even after she would return to her own world.
"Let's go. They're starting to look for us already. I think it's about time we head to the courtyard," she said.
With that suggestion, Edmund nodded. Before she could even stop him, he already took her free hand and began pulling her away from there. Of course, it was a surprise for her to see him do that. Then again, he had done a lot of impulsive things towards her.
So perhaps there was no reason for her to even feel strange about all of it. She knew she would miss this, anyway. She might as well relish it while she could.
"Thank you so much, Edmund. I'm really glad I got to meet you here," Amy ended up saying before she could even stop herself.
He stopped walking not long after and faced her. Once again, his expression was serious and all she did was to meet his gaze. He didn't say anything, though. Instead, he just held her hand tight before starting to pull her again.
Yes, there were no words spoken. Even so, his gestures and his gaze was enough as a response.
It didn't take long before they finally reached the courtyard. A lot of people were already gathered there. When she saw that the other Pevensies had gathered beside Caspian and Aslan, Amy faced Edmund.
"You better go with them."
The young king gave Amy one last look before approaching his siblings that gathered in that one area. She, however, decided to stay a little further away. She didn't want to interrupt anything that Aslan and even Caspian would say to the people.
And then of course, the issue of departing had finally come to light. But to her surprise, she soon learned that both Peter and Susan could not re-enter Narnia.
"Don't look too surprised, Amy. I would say that this is already inevitable," Peter said as soon as he faced her.
"But… I just don't understand."
"You will be able to do so someday, my dear," Aslan spoke this time, making Amy turn her attention to the said lion. "You can still come back to this land, once the situation permits it. Just like Edmund and Lucy."
At the mention of Edmund, she soon faced the said Just King. Her eyes widened at the sight of the young man actually looking at her from where he stood. Of course, she already expected her heart to be reacting fast once again.
But this time, she accepted it. It was about her feelings, after all. At that thought, she smiled.
"Thank you… for giving me another chance to return here. It did allow me to learn a lot more than ever before," Amy said before bowing to Aslan to show her appreciation over the matter.
The lion nodded once before facing the crowd to address them once more. But she wasn't listening this time. Instead, she approached both Peter and Susan before she curtsied to them.
"I'm really glad I got to meet you two," she said which earned her smiles from the two former Narnian rulers.
"Same here. It's too bad that we only got to know you for a short time," Susan responded and held Amy's hands.
"But I'm sure it's enough for it to last in our memories, right?"
Amy didn't know why she said that, though. But she was sure of the urge she had to say it to them, even though it was confusing.
One by one, Amy started saying her goodbyes. Especially when she saw some Telmarines enter the portal that Aslan had created on the tree. Of course, the feat was enough to induce fear in some of the people. And so she decided one thing to at least ease that fear that started to build some tension among the people.
"I will go there next, if you'll let me, Aslan," she declared.
With that, she immediately sensed someone gazed at her intently. She didn't even have to look around to know who it was.
"If you wish," was all that Aslan said.
It was enough as an answer for Amy. After taking a deep breath, she turned around to the direction where that intense gaze came from.
She was right. It came from Edmund. And now, she knew it was that time already. She took a few steps towards the young king before stopping in front of him.
"So you're heading home before us, huh?" Edmund said that soon broke the silence between them.
Amy answered with a nod. It was strange, though, that she was doing it with a smile.
"I mean, I'm quite sure we came from different places. Even if we did enter the portal together, we would still end up getting separated in the middle of it."
Before she could even give him the chance to say anything else, she took one more step before placing her hand around him and embracing him tight. Possibly even tighter than how she did it last night.
"Thank you for everything you've done for me while I'm here, Edmund. And thank you… for being with me all the way," she whispered and closed her eyes as she hugged him tighter.
It didn't take long before Edmund returned the gesture to the same degree. It was enough to make her smile.
"I'm glad I got to meet you, Amy," Edmund said in a low voice after a few moments of silence between them.
That hug lasted for a few moments before Edmund finally let her go. Amy slowly distanced himself before letting go of his hands. She mouthed "thank you" one last time and turned around to take the necessary steps.
It was about time, anyway.
"Thank you for all the help that you've given to me and my people, Amy. I'll never forget it all," Caspian said and bowed to her.
But typical Amy stopped him before he could even fully lower his head. "You don't have to do that. I just did what I could to make sure we got what we wanted from the start. And I hope you do your best to make this last for generations to come."
Caspian eyed her for a few moments before he smiled and nodded when her words had registered in his mind. "I will, Your Majesty. I promise."
For Amy, that answer was enough. She bowed to the former prince and proceeded to where Aslan was at. She bowed to him, as well, before the lion breathed on the tree on that courtyard once again. It didn't take long before the portal materialized once more.
"This is it…" she whispered before taking a deep breath.
She turned her head to look at Edmund once again — this time, it would be the last. She smiled at him and bowed lightly. Not long after, she took several steps towards the portal and entered it without hesitation this time.
xxxxxx
"Are you alright, Ed?"
It was that question coming from Peter that had snapped Edmund out of his reverie. But to his confusion, his vision was a little blurry. Only to realize that he was, in fact, crying.
He wasn't able to stop his tears from falling as he watched Amy disappear in front of him. Then again, he knew he couldn't help it.
"I don't know," was all that he said as a reply. Of course, that answer wasn't even a lie.
Lucy soon approached Edmund and placed a hand on his shoulder. He eyed his younger sister because of that.
"At least, you're not hiding it. But you don't have to worry or be sad. Amy's going to be alright," Lucy said with an understanding smile.
"I know that. But I know that I'll be alright. Perhaps it hadn't fully registered in my mind that I would get to see her leave like this."
"Though I'm sure that you're aware of this being the inevitable moment, right? I think Amy was able to accept it even when it would surely make her sad." It was Susan who spoke this time.
Edmund didn't say anything as a response to that, though. He just remained staring at the portal where Amy had entered.
"I'm alright. I don't think I have anything to worry about," he said later on before facing his siblings. "Even when it came to this, I knew it in me that it would happen like this. We both accepted it even before I talked to her last night."
The other Pevensies only smiled upon hearing Edmund say that. It was true that this separation was an inevitable one. But they didn’t realize that Edmund would come easily in terms with all of it. Of course, they also knew that it was a hard one to deal with.
Even so, there was still something good that came out of it. For some reason, they couldn’t help feeling that way.
With that realization, the siblings faced Caspian and bid their goodbyes to the former prince. Especially Susan, who had expressed her goodbye in a rather special way.
And then, it was time.
One step… Two steps…
Soon after, they finally arrived in the subway where they were before they were summoned. Back to their old clothes as students… back to their old lives as children of England.
If Edmund was going to be honest, it did feel sad for him. But he knew he didn’t have time to dwell on that any further. It didn’t take long before the four siblings embarked on the train going back to the academy.
It was upon noticing that his torch had disappeared and was presumably left in Narnia that a boy suddenly bumped into him. It caused the boy’s bag and some of its contents to spill over.
“Oh, no! I’m so sorry!” The boy kept on saying that over and over as he gathered his scattered things.
Both Peter and Edmund helped the boy do so. That is… until something caught Edmund’s attention among the things that had scattered.
‘Is that… what I think it is?’ he couldn’t help thinking as the boy had finally gathered all of his things and thanked the siblings profusely for helping him.
“Be careful next time,” was all that Edmund could say to the boy before he left. He could only watch the boy’s figure walking away from that spot before he completely disappeared from the crowd in the train.
“Is there something wrong, Ed?”
That question coming from Susan snapped him out of his thoughts. Though he shook his head just to assure them that it was alright, he still couldn’t help looking back to the direction that the boy had passed through.
Soon after, Edmund smiled before shaking his head. “That would be crazy if it’s like that.”
“What is?”
Edmund faced Peter and shook his head once again. “Nothing.” But even after saying that, the smile on his face didn’t disappear.
‘If that’s the case, then I could finally see where Amy inherited her features.’
It was a crazy thought. But perhaps, it wouldn’t be so bad to hold on to that.
xxxxxx
By the way, there’s still one more chapter before this story comes to an end. It was just a short one, possibly something that will wrap this story in a good way. At least that’s what I think. Thank you for reading!
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